The Legend of the Perfect Game

Lights up on the Maerynian Refuge. Something is blocking out the sun. It is OBLIVAEON.

Writhe: That guy is… really big.

Dr. Medico: Oh my look at the time.

Parse: Not it.

Stuntman: Hasta la vista, bebe.

Writhe: Wait, where did everybody go? This turn order is BS

Dr. Medico: The Bloodsworn Colosseum will help us! But how will we ever impress them?

Stuntman: *Massive chain of explosions!*

Kaargra and Citizen Storm: We’ll work with you!

Dr. Medico: Now if only we had somebody to drive this giant mech my daughter made.

Everybody: LOL its so cute

OblivAeon: Wait where did my shield go it was right here

Parse: *Shoots an arrow. We watch it for several panels. Finally, it cracks the center of the gem on OblivAeon’s forehead.*

Parse: He can be hurt… Let’s make Borr do it!

Writhe: Yes ma’am.

Borr: *Clobbers OblivAeon*

OblivAeon: Okay, Plan A wasn’t very good. Maybe plan B will go better.

Parse and Dr. Medico: *Die forgettably.*

Mr. Fixer, Sentinels, and Stuntman: *Clobber the crap out of Voidsoul, then go to ATLANTIS on a victory cruise.*

The Sentinels: Cool Conduit, bro. Definitely won’t turn us into defensive gods or anything.

Stuntman: Let’s check in at the Time Cataclysm.

Writhe: Borr is super angry. Def gonna make Borr punch Oblivaeon then blow up.

Stuntman: Your road might be a bit more lonesome now, mon ami. Because you’ll be totes dead.

Writhe: You are so extra.

Stuntman: *FLIES AWAY on what is probably a BALD EAGLE*

Writhe: Hey Obby, stop hitting yourself with your minions.

Borr: *Explodes!*

OblivAeon: Ffffffffff I don’t even remember why I came here.

Progeny: Here I am father aren’t you proud of me

OblivAeon: Huh? Sure, whatever. Bye

BACK AT THE REFUGE

Dark Mind: Ah ha ha ha! Wait, how are all of you the Apex of Humanity

The Sentinels: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dark Mind: That’s gotta be against the rules.

The Sentinels: Guess not.

Sky-Scraper: I helped!

Stuntman: Verr did you learn to pilot a mech?

Mr. Fixer Mech: The 80’s were crazy, man.

El Mejor Legado: Sí ellos estaban.

Stuntman: *Explodes the Red Menace, walks away slowly, doesn’t look back* Tell me about it.

Everyman: He is too cool for this world.

Stuntman: Viva l’America! *Dies really cool*

Harpy: I’m mostly just here to watch the giant mech fight.

Sky-Scraper: Me also.

Mr. Fixer Mech: *Punches OblivAeon until its imaginary fists are covered in starry energy blood*

The Idealist: This is awesome.

OblivAeon: Aww eff this. *Dies* Final form!

Dark Mind: This is BS *Also punched to death by Mech, but like psychically*

OblivAeon: Stop it! *Breaks mech, kills Fixer*

Mr. Fixer Dark Mech: Now you just made me angrier with no mechanical difference for the circumstances but one more hit point.

OblivAeon: Why didn’t you do that last time.

Mr. Fixer Dark Mech: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, but with mech arms

Progeny: Somebody pay attention to me!

Everybody especially OblivAeon: NO!

Mainstay: Hey, mind if me and my perfect body take ALL of the damage effortlessly?

Lucky Break: LOL i heard u liek one shots so i got u some one shots to go with ur one shots

Idealist: now ur speakin my language

Mr. Fixer Dark Mech: Stupid Millennials

Idealist: I’m Gen Z you has-been

Mr. Fixer Dark Mech: Yeah only because some of us actually age after decades in the industry

OblivAeon: Enough! There is no difference when I erase all existence! Now how do you like these apples!

Aeon Master: Apples!

Mr. Fixer Dark Mech: Great, this will be perfect for my damage output.

OblivAeon and Aeon Master: What?

Mr. Fixer Dark Mech: I was going to use the Pink Lady.

Greazer: What?

Sky-Scraper: Mega man is so funny.

Mr. Fixer Dark Mech: She thinks I’m kidding.

The Chronoist: Delivery of one pair of giant crowbars?

Mr. Fixer God of Death: I am become death destroyer of your face.

The Idealist: This is better than I ever imagined. And I’m like really good at imagining things.

OblivAeon: From Hell’s Heart I… think you all suck.

Voss: Hello.

Everybody: Aw man.

Voss: Is that “aw man now we’re doomed”?

Everybody: NO we’re fine you’re just a prick.

Voss: Aw man.

Lucky Break: You get a one shot! And you get a one shot! Everybody gets a one shot!

Voss: I’m going to die from this guy?

Mr. Fixer God of Death: *Mecha-Crowbar to the FACEhole*

Lucky Break: LOLOLOL

Mainstay: So do we get some Shawarma or something?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OblivAeon, guarded by The Primary Objective

Versus

Dr. Medico/Mr. Fixer/Dark Watch Mr. Fixer (Bloodsworn Exhibition, Mecha-Knight Ultra Strike, El Mejor Legado, A Brother’s Sacrifice)

Fugue State Parse/Defense Sentinels (consisting of Adamant Idealist and Medico, with standard Mainstay and Writhe) (Citizen Storm, Atlantean Conduit, The Apex of Humanity, Lucky Break)

Action Hero Stuntman/Harpy (Primordial Boon, The Everyman)

Writhe/Extremist Skyscraper (T-Rex Bot, The Chronoist)

In

Mostly the Maerynian Refuge, featuring the Time Cataclysm.

This was a Standard Oblivaeon game played using the app. I won without losing an environment. Five heroes were defeated, and 3 scions. Heroes claimed 12 mission rewards, and there were 10 Destruction Tokens and 3 spots on the Countdown when the heroes stormed through Rainek Kel-Voss at the end of everything. I think the game lasted about 9 rounds - 2 in phase 1, 5 in phase 2, and 2 in phase 3.

How did this happen? Really good draws, mostly. I randomized the start, but I got the easiest shield and several missions that were fairly easy and synergistic. The scions were two of the easiest to start, and I actually managed to make Borr blow up in OblivAeon’s direction for once with a magnificent sacrifice play by Writhe. Very few scions showed up, which helps a lot as well.

Scion scheme: Voidsoul in the Refuge, Borr in the Time Cataclysm. They were eliminated the same turn in the second stage. Progeny replaced Borr, then Dark Mind came in the next turn. Once we hit stage 3, Aeon Master was summoned to the Refuge. With OblivAeon’s very last chance to do something before being crowbarred to death, he summoned Voss, who turned out to be little more than a speed bump in the face of the combined heroic might. A neat trick I learned: OblivAeon’s second form only restores a scion in one zone, so if you have an opportunity to clear both zones of scions in one turn, take it.

Something that worked really well was the entire team mostly fought together. One team member would break off to placate the scion in the other battle zone in the early game, but by mid-game we just abandoned the Time Cataclysm to Progeny, reasoning that it was pretty messed up anyway. OblivAeon mostly stayed in the Refuge as well.

Action Hero Stuntman is bar none the best hero for a dramatic and immediate impact, and he delivered in spades to get the team started off right. Mr. Fixer with the Mecha-Knight Ultra Strike is basically easy mode if you can get a couple more of his cards into play and a few out-of-turn power uses. The Sentinels team, specialized for defense, turned into an unbreakable guard with Human Shield, and when Lucky Break came out for the endgame, their turns were averaging about 40 damage with one-shots from all the heroes.

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