Hi, I'm coming out of lurking in celebration of my team's recent success in the "The Real Heroes" story challenge. There was some serious cackling of joy when the cops took him out.
Anyway, I started writing a fic about the cops who are running around trying to handle this stuff, specifically a detective who might have a lead on the background of a Citizen of the Sun. So far, this is just the intro, but I'll certainly be writing more.
Attachments:
That's a pretty cool story. I can't wait to see how it continues!
Thanks! I've added parts two and three, so this file has 1-3.
It isn't all police investigation in part III, the Freedom Five make an appearance.
More please. This is a fun read.
Okay, here's the story updated with part iv.
Thanks for reading
Great to see ExPatriette come into the story. Loved the interaction with Wraith.
Who else would have an opinion about whether someone could leave the Citizens? In my mind, Wraith and ExPatriette circle around each other, crossing paths unhappily. Wraith wants to turn ExPatriette over to the cops. ExPatriette thinks that Wraith is afraid to get her hands dirty (and has figured out her secret identity). So there's some serious distrust there, but they help each other too... sometimes.
Really good read so far, please keep em comming.
Thanks, everyone, for reading. It always feels a bit like sending your stuff into the great void. I'm on spring break this week, so it might be a while before the next part comes up, but I have not disappeared.
I don't suppose spring break is over yet. :)
Ah, it makes me feel good to know that there are people waiting. And clearly I'm still alive.
Behold the problems of being a 3rd year law student. It IS coming, I swear.
I will also cop to being more occupied with playing Sentinels than writing about it. So many new things to explore at the mo.
Ask and ye shall receive. This is just the next part. If you are interested in reading pars 1-4, they are posted above. (post #5)
Colleen finally speaks!
Bbbbbut what happens next?!?
Dun-dun-dunnnnnnnnnn.
I've already started writing part 6, so it won't be a 2 week break this time. Just think, if this were a comic, you'd have to wait a month.
Alright, part 6 is up and ready to go. It's a bit longer, to make up for the wait.
Also, this part places this story at some point in the lead up to Vengeance.
Loving this story! Have read the first four. Was trying to tell the >G guys about it last night, but I was so tired that I don't think I was doing it justice.
Hi. My name's Andy. Feel free to call me Andy, since, ya know, that's my name. (he/him/his)
If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If not now, when? If I am for myself alone, what am I? -- Hillel
Oh, now I'm all verklempt.
Seriously though, if >G hadn't spent so much time and energy into making these cards come to life, there wouldn't be stories to speculate on.
Fabulous! I want a Promo Hero Deck of Citizen Matter!!!
She'd be an interesting deck.
Lots of damage, and I don't know that she'd have any equipment, but she'd be immune to projectile damage (since her magnetic field stops all incoming metal objects), and she might be able to spread her immunity around. And maybe she'd have a card similar to end of days or rampage that is just her nuking everything
Also, not to give too much away, but she wouldn't be calling herself Citizen Matter if she's heroing.
I read this on my commute home last night and my commute to work this morning. Great story!! Thanks for sharing!!
Now that I have a better idea of how long it's taking me to get places in this story, I can come out and say definitively that this is going to be a 10 part story. So now you know.
Part 7 is up and running.
This, this series. It is just perfect. My gosh. I have a huge exam tomorrow, and yet I spent time reading this. Wow. Good job!
Part Eight is up and ready for reading.
Colleen has kind of a Rogue from the Comics thing going, I realized.
This is my favorite thread on the forums. Loving the story.
Just started to read this. Not finished, but definitely liking what I see. Keep it up!
Great stuff... way too distracting at work.
:-)
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Hobos have been living off of pigeon jerky for years! - Olly
First, thanks to everyone who's been reading. I didn't actually expect people to do so.
Second, I'm taking suggestions for particularly epic power combinations that you've seen play out (or that you'd want to see play out). Examples would be Ra increasing fire damage, making all damage fire and letting Absolute Zero go at it (that's a pretty obvious one, but you know what I mean.) I've got several in mind, but I haven't played as long as other people, so I figure there are amazing things that I'd be missing. Any hero is on the table.
Part 9 should be coming in the next day or so.
Well, once I was against Dawn *hinthint* with Exp, Legacy, and The Visionary. Legacy had out his IP, and of course was Galvanizing the crap out of everyone. The visionary also had both TtE's out, but not on Dawn: on Exp. Two Obsidian Fields were also out (we were playing on Dawn's home base), so that totalled to a +6 to Exp, plus another +1 for nemesis bonus, bringing the total to +7. She had both Pride and Prejudice out, so every turn (more or less) she would be able to deal 18 damage to Dawn, just on her turn without any ammo or other power ups.
Are you putting in a formal request for a fight against Dawn? ...We'll see what we can do. ;)
I love when expat gets both P&P out and then gets boosted. I have no idea how the logic would actually work out in comics, but it's nevertheless awesome.
In this case, I actually imagined it that Legacy's effects made Expat's aim even better than it already is, the Visionary twisting reality to make, I dunno, her bullets move faster (something with increased mass and force?), and the obsidian fields giving Dawn a hard time, so she wouldn't be prepared to deal with two bullets coming for her face.
On a separate note, in a totally different game, a similarly (though not quite as strongly) manner, Exp was able to deal the final blow against Dawn. I just love it, thematically.
*Shoots Pride. Dawn down to 4HP*
Dawn: You can't defeat me, traitor! You can't bring down the sun!
Expatriette: Well, mother, I guess it's time for the sun to set.
*Shoots Prejudice. Dawn down to 0HP. Game end.*
Well, not really a request, but hey, I'd love to see that :) I swear to God, I kind of come back to this forum everyday checking to see if you've posted a new chapter or not :))
Err, what I WOULD actually like to see is maybe a Voss attack? With Mr. Fixer. A game of ours involved Fanatic taking down the lone Gene-bound Guard with Final Dive, then Fixer killing everyone else with a Harmony (+1) and Greased Monkey Fist (+1) boosted Jack Handle attack. B-e-a-utiful
Okay, well since you asked nicely, I'll give you a hint: Naturalization is actually the story of Colleen getting away from the Citizens once and for all. So, Dawn is definitely the Big Bad (to borrow a Whedonism) and I actually have the killing blow mapped out in my head. You may want to expect a full-scale invasion.
I am dispensing with the conventions of the card game generally, since I think of this more as a comic-fiction than a game-fiction, so no team limits, the abilities that come from cards are adapted to make more sense in a narrative fashion, that sort of thing. Game-play definitely gives me ideas, but I don't see any reason to limit myself to conventions that are more about a satisfying game experience when I'm working with an entirely different medium. So things that wouldn't be exactly allowed in the game are within the realm of possibility for the comics.
Also, if people are still interested, the stories can continue beyond Naturalization. I was actually thinking about letting Brian and others start investigating the Chairman next (who in my fake continuity is an unknown and possibly mythical figure), since Brian does have his detective qualifications and I feel like I haven't done as much with the Wraith as I would have liked (the story goes where it goes). Voss would be another good one. A group of less-well-respected heroes goes off and realizes that an invasion is on its way and has to convince the core guys that things are about to get dicey....
Oh my god, I can't believe how excited I am about this. Thank God all my exams are over, or I'd never be able to pass them. Thank you so much, celette!
A Chairman fic would be perfect. He's actually my favorite of all the villains; I've always loved mafia-type characters. And though people are alwasy complaining how a bunch of normal, regular humans (well, -ish. Genetically modified, fine, but still basically human) is harder to beat than, say, an invading army of super-aliens, but hey. Organized crime is a much more insiduous and difficult problem to uproot: you can't just jump in and Rampage throigh everybody. So yeah. Yey for a The Organization story!
Can't wait!
Possible things to incorporate:
Unity using someone else's equipment
Unity doing anything at all -- she's hilarious!
Bee Bot!
Fanatic's Final Dive (did you do that already? Can't remember everything!)
NightMist redirecting an attack from a teammate to a non-hero target.
Haka's Enduring Intercession (am I remembering that card's name?) keeping others from taking damage.
Bunker in Turret mode! (Budda, budda, budda, budda,...)
Hi. My name's Andy. Feel free to call me Andy, since, ya know, that's my name. (he/him/his)
If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If not now, when? If I am for myself alone, what am I? -- Hillel
budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda,budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda,budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda,budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda, budda,
Hi. My name's Andy. Feel free to call me Andy, since, ya know, that's my name. (he/him/his)
If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If not now, when? If I am for myself alone, what am I? -- Hillel
budda
Beebot DID deliver a message, and Vance thanked it because mechanical things need to stick together.
Yeah, I have an awesome AA, scholar, and nightmist combo in mind, and, after a game we just played on Google+, I might have unity TRY to take the Legacy ring (and everyone's like...NOOOOOO!)
Part 9, ready to go.
Yes! The adventure continues!
Everyone put on "Gimme Shelter" or "Immigrant Song" or The New World Symphony or whatever your favorite music is, because it's time for the grand finale!
Notes:
I realize that some of these things do not work the way that they do in the game. I know, I know. It's more awesome this way, and I choose to think that the game is just an adaptation of the comics, not an accurate and complete reflection of the rules of the comics.
There's some pretty heavy Expat speculation in there. I stand by it.
Yes, it's long. No apologies.
Let me know what you think!
Thanks for posting this. I've been waiting eagerly for this conclusion to read the last couple of chapters. Very well done. I really enjoyed the cameos of all the known characters and then some (though I did feel that fighting 450 Citizens was pushing it a bit).
I particularly enjoyed the reference to The Chairman at the end and hope to see a story that really captures the difficulty of fighting The Organization and the feeling of helplessness against an endless villain.
The rest of this post will be a bit off-topic and I apologize for that.
I just re-read the entire thing and something caught my eye and I'm not sure if it was discussed elsewhere. As Colleen's powers were being described, I began to picture what her nemesis icon would look like (especially since I have recently been drawing all the icons for the heroes to use in other projects). Since you mentioned she had the ability to manipulate the four fundamental forces of nature, I figured it would have to be something with four elements on it... maybe a black hole (or black funnel) to represent gravitation, radiating rings to represent electromagnetism, maybe something like a spark in the sun to represent nuclear fusion for the weak nuclear force, and something that symbolizes strength for strong nuclear force... like a chain maybe (metaphorically speaking, of course). Does this look like a nemesis icon we may have seen already?
They don't actually take out all 450 of them. Once Dawn goes down, the rest surrender. Really just imagine waves and waves of them. the citizens can't all fight at once either.
Hmmm, la capitan as her nemesis. Innnnteresting.
Also, yes I have been watching "Legend of Korra." Yes, I think that the Dark Phoenix Saga is the most awesome. And yes, submarines are surprisingly acquirable.
Ha, I figured they could buy a sub from any former soviet republic... it only has to run, right?
At first I did wonder why the Citizens didn't just split up so the F5 would have to figure out which attack Colleen was a part of and still have to deal with Citizens attacking different points... but then I realized that Citizen Dawn is a megalomaniac AND a control freak... she could never trust her lieutenants with this mission. After all, if any of them was capable enough to lead a squad of Citizens in something this important, what would prevent him/her from challenging her rule over te Citizens.
Also, I realized that Citizen Dawn didn't want a sneak attack, she wanted a show of force so that humans would willingly submit to her rule. She doesn't want to conquer and enslave humans, she wanted them to worship her. So then it all made sense.
So when's the next story? :)
Exactly. Dawn simultaneously underestimates Colleen's willingness to go along and overestimates her own ability to control the power. Once I realized that Colleen's powers are the equivalent of Dawn's (what is the sun but a nuclear reactor in the sky?), I realized that Dawn would have to keep Colleen very close at hand indeed.
And yeah, Dawn half-expected the humans to show up and thank her for her kindness. She wasn'tsurprised that the stupid so-called heroes would get in the way, but of course they're probably just trying to fight off a challenger to their hegemony, right?
Every drug and gun running cartel worth its salt has a sub. (this is only slightly exaggerated- some definitely use subs)
I honestly can't say. I'm coming up on exams soon, and those are gonna take precedence (And then I disappear for two months into hibernation known as "studying for the bar exam.") But I might be squeezing out pieces as we go. It certainly won't be as long because I won't have to establish any new characters.
That was beautiful <3 Thank you so much, Celette, for this series. I'm actually working on a Chairman fic right now as well (though it will be much broader than just him) so we'll see how that goes.
Thanks, Drakossozh.
Looking forward to it. Joy of comics- different people telling stories about the same characters!
Fabulous!!! Good luck on the upcoming Bar Exam and I'm looking forward to future stories.
Of course, I've already got the next one mapped out in my head and I might have started composing the first section. Maybe.
I think Detective Renay and Captain Lamb should at least have cameos in that story...
They're going to have more than cameos.
Shhhhh. ;)
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